Tuesday, October 19, 2010
I'm A Tattered Blankie
My dad asks me the other day why I'm so lax with the blogs lately. This is why dad. It's 9:30 P.M and he's still awake. Why can't I have his energy.
My mom asked me recently why we spaced our kids so far apart in age. There are 3 years between Stephen and Hannah...4 years between Hannah and Will and 7 years between Will and Griffin. We didn't really plan it this way..it's just how it is. Maybe it was because Steve was off flying helicopters in strange places and never around...maybe it's because I could never get pregnant while nursing. I know some moms can..not me. Maybe God doesn't think I could handle two little kids at one time..even though twins would be just too cute right? For the first two years...at least..I am my baby's pacifier, blankie, stuffed animal, lovey etc. None of my kids ever had a "thing" that they went to bed with or cuddled with. It's been me. I'm that "thing" That tattered piece of blankie ...the stuffed animal that's lost an eye...that musical toy that sings lullaby's...it's all me. And most nights I'm good with that. But tonight while trying for hours to put Griffy down I started to get frustrated...wishing I could hand him a something other than me to put him to sleep. And then I thought of my other kids who can now put themselves to bed without me and how quickly that happened. Soon enough Griffy won't need me either.
Listen, I have NOTHING against pacifiers, blankies, any of that stuff. Like I said, there have been plenty of nights that I have WISHED to GOD they'd take something besides me. But, most nights I'm happy that I've been their blankie.