My dad asks me the other day why I'm so lax with the blogs lately. This is why dad. It's 9:30 P.M and he's still awake. Why can't I have his energy.
My mom asked me recently why we spaced our kids so far apart in age. There are 3 years between Stephen and Hannah...4 years between Hannah and Will and 7 years between Will and Griffin. We didn't really plan it this way..it's just how it is. Maybe it was because Steve was off flying helicopters in strange places and never around...maybe it's because I could never get pregnant while nursing. I know some moms can..not me. Maybe God doesn't think I could handle two little kids at one time..even though twins would be just too cute right? For the first two years...at least..I am my baby's pacifier, blankie, stuffed animal, lovey etc. None of my kids ever had a "thing" that they went to bed with or cuddled with. It's been me. I'm that "thing" That tattered piece of blankie ...the stuffed animal that's lost an eye...that musical toy that sings lullaby's...it's all me. And most nights I'm good with that. But tonight while trying for hours to put Griffy down I started to get frustrated...wishing I could hand him a something other than me to put him to sleep. And then I thought of my other kids who can now put themselves to bed without me and how quickly that happened. Soon enough Griffy won't need me either.
Listen, I have NOTHING against pacifiers, blankies, any of that stuff. Like I said, there have been plenty of nights that I have WISHED to GOD they'd take something besides me. But, most nights I'm happy that I've been their blankie.
It's especially hard when you think this is the last time. That's how I am with Evie. Love that "I'm the mom and they really need me" phase. Hang on till Friday!
ReplyDeleteMe too! Except for ONE...my middle child had a blankie...and that was weird but awesome at the same time. And it totally fits his laid back personality that he could just fall asleep by himself easily, anywhere.
ReplyDeleteI was looking at summer pictures of my girl last night and reliving the memories. The thought struck me so hard that I would never get any of that back with her. And though my husband says -- won't it be great with the grandkids one day? -- I know it won't ever be the same.
ReplyDeleteYou have good kids...you are doing something very right!
ReplyDeleteI remember feeling like a human pacifier! But if I was blessed enough to have an "accident" I would hang on to that last one like crazy! It goes soooooo fast. Griffin is at such an adorable age.
ReplyDeleteOh Pam I hear you!!!!
ReplyDeleteI'm feeling a bit like a tattered old blankie too!
Riley and Janey both sucked their thumbs, not Aubrey! It has made going to sleep so much more of a challenge for her. We are having itchy eczema skin issues now..ugh! Nothing like trying with all your might to get an itchy miserable little one to sleep!! I am praying for a night of rest for all four of us!!:)
Hang in there....
SO glad you are 'back' because I've really missed reading your blog. I'm sure I have people thinking the exact same thing, considering I haven't updated my blog in some time, but we go in phases. Sometimes you have a ton to talk about and pictures to post, but you don't feel like it or don't have time, or maybe you just need some time to recharge.... I'm in the recharging process right now. :o) Everyone looks wonderful, love your blog!!
ReplyDeleteCan so relate...I will come out of the closet and confess that I still nurse Anna (3 in December) to sleep every night. It is such a quiet, snuggly time. I do admit, though, it gets exhausting at times being the blankie :)
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