"In all my time and effort spent researching the best ways to mother, I have come full circle to realize that in almost all cases, the best choices for the health of children and mothers are the ones you would make if stranded on a deserted island and forced to follow your instincts. Trust birth. Breastfeed. Keep your baby whole. Sleep by your baby. Wear your baby. Communicate with your baby. Listen and respond to your baby's cues and cries." ~ Jennifer Coias
A friend just sent me this quote and I have read it and re-read it a million times. I think I might print it out and hang it up. To me, these words affirm my beliefs in mothering.
As I am still on my retreat high, thoughts of the weekend have been running through my head. The conversations I had with other mothers truly validated my convictions and boy does that make you feel good. To find someone else out there that thinks like you! I'm not alone! I'm not "weird" because I'm still nursing, or that we sleep with our baby. Because for years I felt like that. Alone..like I was stranded on a deserted island. And then about 12 years ago I found someone who mothered like me. It was through a natural parenting website and from there we started emailing and became friends. We don't email really anymore..instead follow each others blogs . She helped me realize that how I was parenting was not just normal..it was right.
I so strongly believe that mothers and their babies need to bond. On every level. Physically, your body reacts the minute after that baby is born and is almost demanding you to nurse him. Emotionally, you are overcome with love and affection for this new life that you have created. Spritually, you are thankful for the gift that God has given you. Mentally, you are preparing yourself for the job that is now entrusted to you.
Why do we fight this? Why do we disconnect ourselves from our babies too quickly? For a career that quite possibly could wait a few years? For a good nights sleep? For a clean house? I'm not saying those things aren't important. But, are they as important as the bond we're establishing that will carry them through life?
You know when you believe in something so wholeheartedly and you just want to share it with the world? Well, that's what I'm doing. Just sharing what I believe.
Back to the real world. Yesterday when I was on my way to the grocery store, I accidentally locked Griffin in the car. 3 policemen, 2 AAA guys, a broken door and 45 minutes later the drama ended. He was fine. I'm fine. The drivers side door to my car..not so much. I now need to climb across the passenger side door to get in my car. It's all good though because I'm still on my retreat high! Still hearing those positive words of wisdom that were spoken by all the fabulous moms I met.
I do need to give a HUGE shout out to my incredible husband who not only held down the fort..he went above and beyond. When I walked in the door Sunday afternoon I wasn't expecting the kids, the house and especially the baby to be as happy and well-cared for as they were. The house was clean, dishes done, the kids cleaned their rooms and Steve painted the study. WHAT? I can't paint my nails with 4 kids..how did he manage that? I wonder if I would have preferred the opposite. You know a dirty, messy house and kids who came running at me saying "Mom! Thank God your home...we NEED you!!"
And some of you were wondering about the baby. You know the whole nursing thing. When I left on Friday he was still nursing a few times a day/night so that was my biggest worry about being gone. But, when I called over the weekend Steve reassured me he was fine..eating a ton..but fine. So, what did I do the minute I walked in the door on Sunday? Nurse. I think I missed it more than him.
It's 71 degrees and sunny here today. Griffy and I just came from a long walk on the beach. I feel recharged and ready to face the day!
It was such a great weekend. Inspiring, informative, fun, rejunvinating, relaxing and I feel like I made about 30 new friends. All like-minded moms sharing stories and ideas. I loved listening to these women. They are all smart and creative and beautiful inside and out. We all came from different back grounds and religions, but we came together this past weekend and bonded over Motherhood. The joys of it, the pains of it.
Mothering is my passion and my profession and it is by far the most important job in the world. The Power of Moms realizes that and celebrates it. I am blessed to have been a part of this retreat and to have met these fabulous Moms.
I usually eat a pretty healthy breakfast. Even if I eat like crap the rest of the day..at least I know I've eaten one decent meal. I LOVE V8. Love it. Do you like Bloody Mary's? I have one once a year on Thanksgiving. And when I fly. Which is not often because I hate flying. But if I have to fly..you can bet I'll be bellied up to the nearest bar having a Bloody or six. Anyway, back to breakfast minus the booze. Ezekiel bread with almond butter is yum and good for you. I have one cup of coffee in the morning. I always pour a second but never drink it.
I feel guilty because I get mad when Stephen asks if we can drive so and so home after rowing for the 3rd time this week. Stephen NEVER asks for a ride. So when he calls for a ride and says, can we drive so and so home, I sigh and huff and roll my eyes. . And then so and so will get in the car and say "thanks for the ride Mrs. d" and I'll feel really guilty for getting mad. And I'll say "anytime buddy"
I'm really tired of being asked for money. I DON'T HAVE ANY..ok? I'm not talking about mortgage and food and cars and gas and clothes and kids activities and cable and cell phones and electricity and oil and water and haircuts and all that crap. I'm talking about the telemarketers asking for a donation for so and so's campaign...I'm talking about the magazine drive and the walk-a-thon and the car wash for sports..(hello..do we not spend enough on that?)...and I'm talking about (here's the kicker)...when I check out at the grocery store and I'm asked EVERY TIME if I want to donate a dollar for some charity. I know it's just a dollar..and most times I say sure. But, doesn't it get annoying to be asked all the time? Even Borders the book store asks every time if I want to donate a book to a childrens school. Geesh.
While we're on the subject of money..when did tipping at Dunkin Donuts start? Seriously. Are we just supposed to tip everyone now for just doing their job? Every time I turn around there is a tip jar staring me in the face. Maybe I should put a tip jar out on my kitchen sink...how about one in my car?
You know the saying.." You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, You just can't pick your friends nose." Well, I do. I pick Griffin's nose..constantly. Steve is always getting mad at me... "leave him alone!"..I can't! I need to get those gross boggers out! When the kids were infants I was addicted to that bulb syring thingy. I like clean noses ok.
I wish I could sew and knit. I'm trying to learn how to knit. It's only taken me about 2 years. My sewing machine sits on my dining room table staring at me. I'm afraid of it. I'm so inspired by blogs of women who knit and sew cute things for their kids.
I'm leaving tomorrow. I'm going here . Remember way back in June (I think it was June..I can't remember..see?)...I wanted to go to Utah? Well, now the retreat is coming to New England and I can go! I'm picking up Sarah at the airport in the morning and off we go! Steve is going to be alone with 4 kids, including a still-nursing 16 month old. Please keep him in your prayers.
We've started our Halloween decorating. Inside only though. I decorate the outside usually the night before or the day of Halloween.
This is the view from my kitchen sink. I was tired of staring out at the gross deck that needs to be torn down. So I put out some pumpkins. I think I should sit a scarecrow or a skeleton out there on the bench don't you think?
All the Martha Stewart Halloween decorations were on sale at Micheals.
Griffy does not like this guy one bit.
Here are the kids last year.
That's Marcus the Carcass. I got him at Target a few years ago. Everyone loves him. Isn't he a riot?
I haven't bought one piece of candy. I just can't yet. I'd eat it all. I have no restraint when it comes to Recees Peanut Butter cups.
My dad asks me the other day why I'm so lax with the blogs lately. This is why dad. It's 9:30 P.M and he's still awake. Why can't I have his energy.
My mom asked me recently why we spaced our kids so far apart in age. There are 3 years between Stephen and Hannah...4 years between Hannah and Will and 7 years between Will and Griffin. We didn't really plan it this way..it's just how it is. Maybe it was because Steve was off flying helicopters in strange places and never around...maybe it's because I could never get pregnant while nursing. I know some moms can..not me. Maybe God doesn't think I could handle two little kids at one time..even though twins would be just too cute right? For the first two years...at least..I am my baby's pacifier, blankie, stuffed animal, lovey etc. None of my kids ever had a "thing" that they went to bed with or cuddled with. It's been me. I'm that "thing" That tattered piece of blankie ...the stuffed animal that's lost an eye...that musical toy that sings lullaby's...it's all me. And most nights I'm good with that. But tonight while trying for hours to put Griffy down I started to get frustrated...wishing I could hand him a something other than me to put him to sleep. And then I thought of my other kids who can now put themselves to bed without me and how quickly that happened. Soon enough Griffy won't need me either.
Listen, I have NOTHING against pacifiers, blankies, any of that stuff. Like I said, there have been plenty of nights that I have WISHED to GOD they'd take something besides me. But, most nights I'm happy that I've been their blankie.
Will and I were driving in the car today and he said out of the blue...."anymore kids mom?"...and before I could really answer he said.."I'd really love a baby sister" and then he started telling me all the girls names that he likes. Meg, Sarah, Jennifer and Audrey. Those are his favorite girls names. He then said that if I couldn't get pregnant (his words..I know)...than maybe we could adopt. I love this kid. He's such a great big brother to Griffy. And I could think of a million girl names.
This weekend we
cleaned and purged and painted
drove to Cambridge twice
rowed on the Cape
had two sit down family dinners..in a row.
With music and candles
and no fighting.
had friends over
decorated for Halloween
A lot. The whole family claps and yells "yeah!" he loves it.
I made an apple crisp and roasted vegetables
Bought pumpkins and mowed the lawn.
grocery shopped again.
helped friends take their boat out
made lasagna and chicken piccata
started another diet
I love our weekends. Even though they're jam packed and loud and crazy. Some day it'll just be Steve and I and we'll be bored.
The kids had a long weekend so we took a road trip up to Stowe, VT to visit my sister in law and her family. If I wasn't such a beach girl I think I'd move here. We haven't been up there in years...don't ask me why. Vermont is such a beautiful state. Everyone is so healthy. The foliage was a bit off this year..not as vibrant. I guess there wasn't as much rain this summer. It still looked gorgeous to me.
We rode the Alpine slide...so fun!
Will loves his Uncle Ed.
Will takes this pretty seriously.
Ed and Nancy own Stowe Seafood. Lucky for us. Man did we eat well that night.
Lobster, steamers, little necks, shrimp, steak, DUXBURY oysters! and pink champagne...and No Hannah was not drinking it. YUM!!
The next day we hiked.
And the babies rode.
We made it to the top.
Ed, Nancy, Leila and Millie (the dog)
I have so many more pictures from the weekend...Thanks again Nancy and Ed and Leila!! We can't wait to come back to Stowe!
Went to the mailbox today and there was a package. For me. From Jenny . After all my whining and complaining last week about lack of sleep, teething babies, traveling husbands..my sweet bloggie friend Jen sent me the most thoughtful gift and card. Thank you Jenny for thinking of me. I LOVE my anthropologie bowl and my HANDMADE notebook and...hello?? Why aren't you selling these on estsy?? Love it.
It was such a beautiful day here today. The kids had a half day. I just don't get half days. Why bother going at all. Will was home at 10:30. We went for a walk down by the beach.
Pizza/movie night and
don't you just love the bum up in the air? I'm going up to sleep with this sweet thing right now. Happy Weekending!
Every weekend we are in Cambridge. This is Hannah's 2nd year performing in the Nutcracker and her rehearsals are EVERY WEEKEND in Cambridge. I'm not complaining..really. And honestly, her rehearsals could be somewhere much worse right? So, while I wait for her to dance, Griffy and I walk around Harvard square. I swear to you I feel smarter just being there.
Griffin loves walking around here. It's so different from our quiet walks on the beach. It's so alive here! The music, the culture, the people, the beautiful old buildings, the books!
I could spend hours and hours in there.
He was playing this really cool instrument and speaking German to his dog. I wish I had kept up with my German. It's such a hard language.
This is the old church that Hannah's rehearsals are in. Don't you love old churches?
I think he's thinking about going to Harvard someday.
Hi there! I'm a wife to a great guy. When we met I told him I wanted to stay home and raise kids. He has let me do just that. And now 19 years, 4 kids, and 7 moves later we've started another adventure. We just moved to Paris! I like wearing aprons and pearls and am usually roasting something in the oven. I would happily go back to the 1950's but I'd miss the internet too much. This is a blog about my life.